Intimacy in relationships

In a world where we're more connected than ever genuine intimacy has become so difficult to find!

We all crave that deep sense of intimacy and vulnerability in our relationships, but doesn’t it sometimes feel just out of reach? This seems to be especially true when it comes to romantic relationships, where truly connecting can be one of the biggest challenges. As someone who's spent a lot of time studying and understanding these dynamics, I’ve noticed this struggle is becoming more common in today’s world.

Human wellbeing is at the core of our collective progress, and our interpersonal connections are central to that wellbeing. Maslow put it beautifully when he highlighted our primal need for safety and belonging. We are social beings and crave interaction with others. This has long been understood by the justice system, where one of the most difficult punishments given to prisoners is that of solitary confinement. Friendships, intimacy, family and love, keep us going. As humans we have the need to both give and receive this and want to feel that we belong somewhere.

We see that this connection is now fulfilled in many people’s lives even through pets and plants. Essentially what we all crave is connection to life. Isolated, we can wither away. Mental wellness is compromised in the absence of such relationships. Is there one vital ingredient to keeping our connections close? Is there a way to interact so that we may experience a sense of intimacy in our relationships? To answer that , we must first try to  understand what exactly we are trying to seek-what intimacy is. Let’s take the first intimate relationship most of us experience, the one with our mothers. It is familiar, affectionate and there is a sense of trust and a knowing that she wants what’s best for us. As children, we look to her for comfort and attention and give her wholehearted love. It is easy to rush into her arms or jump into her lap. When she speaks, we listen completely and respond authentically. She creates this space of safety. On the other hand, as a mother too, there is a sense of freedom with your child. You can be who you are and be accepted as is. It is easy to draw your child to yourself and know that this is welcome. You are able to wholeheartedly contribute to the wellbeing of your child without the expectation of return. Overall it is one of the most beautiful relationships one can experience.  I don’t mean to exclude fathers here or other guardians, I'm just using this as an example to illustrate what intimacy can be like. Intimacy therefore seems to be a space of comfort and togetherness, where there is affection and familiarity.

In following posts, drawing from my over 20 years of experience working with couples, parents, and individuals, we'll explore the essentials of creating meaningful connections in relationships. We'll cover everything from understanding what intimacy truly means and why it's vital for our wellbeing, to tackling common challenges in modern relationships. I'll share practical tips on fostering emotional intimacy, improving communication, and maintaining closeness over time. We'll also delve into topics like the impact of technology on relationships, cultural influences, and the role of trust in building strong connections. Together, we'll navigate through these important aspects so that we can not only enhance our personal lives but also contribute to a society that is more cohesive.

Do join me and feel free to share your comments and thoughts below.